A hard week

Dad called me on Friday afternoon, and asked what I was up to. I told him, and upon thinking about it, I thought "Why would he want to know?" My first thought was that Mom and him had come down to surprise us or something. "Are you guys down here?" I asked. Dad said something along the lines of "I wish", and then bad possibilities came into my head. He wanted me to call him back later, after Halloween. I said I wanted to know whatever it was. I think I actually said "Is something wrong with Grandma?" and he told me the news. Grandma Beverly passed away on October 31. I was glad he told me, but it was hard to keep it from the kids until after Halloween. Lindsey was pretty sad about it, but she is glad we get to go down and visit Aunt Terrie and the cousins.
So with that as my starting point, I then had to work this week. And what song were the kids supposed to learn this week? "Over the river and through the wood". The original words read like this:

"Over the river and through the woods to Grandfathers house we go. The horse knows the way to carry the sleigh thru' the white and drifted snow. Over the river and through the wood, oh how the wind does blow. It stings the toes and bites the nose, as over the ground we go.

Over the river and through the wood, trot fast my dapple gray. Spring over the ground like a hunting hound, for this is Thanksgiving day. Over the river and through the wood, now Grandmothers face I spy. Hurrah for the fun, is the pudding done? Hurrah for the Pumpkin Pie."

I've actually been pretty numb since finding out about grandma, and yesterday teaching this song to the kids didn't seem to bother me, but today I broke down. It was the last class and they weren't being very good. I was trying all the usual things to get them to quiet down, and nothing was working. So I broke down and cried, and told a whole class of first graders how I just lost my grandmother. Well, they were pretty good after that, but class was pretty close to done too. And they all wasted no time in telling every adult at the school that I cried because my grandmother was gone. Sweet and Embarrassing all at the same time.

and now I'm just waiting for time to pass, until I can be with other Family and Friends who feel the loss.